Now, don't get me wrong. I like Swiss Army knives and other such multitools. I know that they're never the best tool for the job, but they're easy to have readily to hand - and the best tool for the job isn't terribly useful if you don't have it when you need it.
Still, this beast is overkill:

It's the Wenger Giant Swiss Army Knife™ V1.0. Eighty-five separate implements, including a laser pointer and flashlight. One hundred ten separate functions. Almost three pounds in weight and eight and three-quarter inches wide!

For comparison, my old Champion model is a mere inch-and-a-half wide. Not that I'm jealous or anything. (Besides, I'm trying to imagine how to work the corkscrew on that beast.)